Where I belong

Last Friday was my last day of a full-time job. I wasn’t totally sure how I felt about it at the time.

I knew that, for us, it was the right thing to do — but I had been working full-time in an office since college and for the most part, enjoyed it. I felt confident in my craft and enjoyed the camaraderie with my coworkers. But a week ago, I sent out my goodbye email, packed up my fish bowl and was on my way.

My emotions on those last days reminded me of the week before high school graduation. I was excited for new possibilities, more time with my babies and fun adventures — but also, I looked around knowing that many of the familiar faces I had grown so accustomed to would eventually become pictures in a high school yearbook (or, more accurately, Facebook) that, decades later, would leave me saying: “I remember that guy… what was his last name again?” And the same for them with me.

But then “summer break” began — and I quickly realized that I made the right decision. This is where I belong.

It’s not all pools and piña coladas — but it is a lot of fun. And it feels good to make purposeful decisions that make profound changes.

This week I:

*Basked in the morning light filtering through our wooden blinds and enjoyed a cup of coffee (lots of cream and sugar, thank you.)

*Planted basil in our kitchen window sill.

*Made homemade cards with my babies.

*Held my youngest after she had fallen asleep in my arms drinking her bottle — and just sat there enjoying her.

*Nursed a plant to life that was dying on our porch.

*Organized and cleaned and finally went through piles of “stuff” that had just been moved from place to place for awhile.

*Turned our backyard into a kiddie water park.

*Had a daycation lunch date with my husband (we sat on a patio for 2 whole hours!)

*Cooked three times.

*Felt like a kid again.

***

This post is really not so much about staying at home vs. working (and I certainly love the flexibility to still do freelance and continue working in a way that fits my schedule.) But it’s more about… trust.

Trusting our own intuition. Trusting God’s will. Trusting that in order to go somewhere new, we have to leave where we are.

I found this quote today, clipped from a magazine, stuffed in my desk drawer. I found it apropos.

PATIENT TRUST

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We would like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.
And yet, it is the law of all progress
that is made by passing through
some stages of instability —
and that it may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually — let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
will make of you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming in you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
– Teilhard de Chardin

4 Comments

  1. Susan Gee

    Lauren, that was beautiful, and I wish you a wonderful “new” career, staying at home. What lucky children you have! Keep on bloggin’ because I love reading what you write. (And I am a retired English teacher! A+ for you in blogging, mothering, and living!)
    Susan (mom’s friend)

  2. I love what you write.. :) and i love reading it. real, plain and simple. just you. God bless and keep on blogging. wish to meet your family someday.

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