Me [to the toddler]: Honey, your biscuits are ready! Time for breakfast!
Todder: No, waffles.
Me: But what about yummy biscuits? Mmm… with butter?
Toddler: No, two waffles.
Me: [Excited] Let’s eat biscuits!!!
Toddler: TWO WAFFLES!!!!
Five minutes later. Waffles have been toasted, buttered and plated on the toddler’s plastic plate.
Me: Here you go, honey. Waffles.
Toddler: [Looks puzzled at waffles.] No, peanut butter!
Me: You want peanut butter on your waffles?
Toddler: PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Me: Peanut butter, please.
Toddler: Peanut butter, pleeeeeease.
30 seconds later. Waffles have been peanut buttered.
Me: Here you go, honey. Peanut butter waffles.
Toddler: [Looks puzzled at waffles. Has meltdown.]
Me: What’s wrong? It’s waffles with peanut butter?
Toddler: [Cries louder. Demands to be held.]
Me: [Holding toddler] Honey, what’s wrong? It’s waffles with peanut butter?
Toddler: [sobbing] NO WAFFLES!!!
10 minutes later. Toddler has calmed. Waffles still not touched.
Me: Honey, do you want your waffles?
Toddler: [begins to cry] NOOOO WAFFLES!
Me: OK. Whatever.
10 minutes later. I hear toddler smacking. I turn to look at him devouring his waffles.
Toddler: [Smiling and excited.] Mmmm… waffles.
Just now, toddler tugging on my pant leg.
Me: Yes, baby?
Toddler: [Sweetly] More waffles?
…and so it continues.