I haven’t been very good at blogging lately because, really, I only have time for one hobby outside of child rearing — and out of necessity, that hobby as of late has been sleeping.
Oh, and laundry.
The holidays have been wonderful and busy and full of family and friends and a baptism in a pear tree. We’re also in the process of getting our house ready to sell — more on that later — but for now, I’m going to write a very enlightening blog post:
A list of things I’ve learned this holiday season.
And one of them is NOT that too much peppermint bark causes jean shrinkage. I’ve known that for a long time.
Without further ado:
6 Things I’ve discovered this Christmas season.
1. When buying egg whites out of a carton to make your egg white omelet, opt for All Whites over Egg Beaters. [Who eats egg white omelets? I do! And so did the personal trainer who worked at the gym next door to the Tropical Smoothie I worked at for 3 months in 12th grade.] All Whites are real egg whites, which are delicious scrambled with a bit of cheese. Egg Beaters, which are egg whites dyed yellow and made to resemble full eggs, are a bit more rubbery. It sounds like I’m getting paid by All Whites for this post, but alas, I am not. Egg Whites are just a hobby.
2. If you want to stop looking at your phone so much, remove the Facebook app. Then, when you’re at a really long red light or breastfeeding (hopefully not at the red light) or doing anything else that has made your brain go into that slightly idle maybe-I’ll-look-at-my-phone mode, you’ll realize that it’s not really that interesting checking the weather multiple times a day. Some of you may also need to remove Words with Friends and Angry Birds as well.
3. They have contraptions that slice apples for you! I discovered this at my friend, Ashley’s, home earlier this week. I don’t like slicing apples the old-fashioned knife way. And she has this sharp, slicey thing that you press on the apple and it slices it and removes the core! It’s magic! It’s fantastic! When I asked Ashley where she got this genius invention, she looked at me plainly and said, “Lauren. It’s an apple slicer. They have them at Target, Walmart, everywhere.” When I called my mom and told her on the way home, she seemed a slight mix of disappointed and embarrassed that her daughter made it to the age of 31 carrying such ignorance. “Honey, we have two of those.” Maybe someday I will discover a cylinder-like object with handles that helps you roll out dough!
4. If you want to help your child burn energy while you sit on your bum and eat Peppermint Bark, you need a Hop-A-Long Pony. Seriously, this Bouncy Horse Ball is like a trampoline workout. My 3-year-old son received it for Christmas and now often “bounces” from room to room. “Can you hand me that drink?” I’ll ask. “Sure,” he says, bouncing over to me. Bounce, bounce, bounce.
The guy at the camera store told my husband that it was the easiest way to make pictures look good (along with a basic bounce flash — here’s the one I have: Nikon SB-400 AF Speedlight Flash) for the amateur photographer who doesn’t want to spend tons of money. But for months, this lens hasn’t really made magic for me and I was like “Eh.”
UNTIL, my brother-in-law showed me over Christmas that I needed to change the aperture to a different setting for this lens to have full effect.
And then — as they say in Sleepless in Seattle — “it was like… magic.”
6. Sleepless in Seattle is on Netflix now. A lot of good movies aren’t. But Sleepless in Seattle (my favorite movie since I don’t remember) IS. And now I can watch it on my phone with the Netflix app. Since, after all, I won’t be looking at Facebook.