The day I realized I was old

I’m not quite 30 yet.

I know that’s not old; however, it’s older than the 20-year-old that I sometimes think I am. And don’t forget: I’m marmish.

Lately I’ve been getting a glimpse at how it’s a slow slope to becoming the mom-jeans wearing groupie who says, “What’s up, homies?” to the kids and turns up the radio to sing to the “cool jam” from her generation.

Because it’s already happening.

It started yesterday when I heard the late-90’s LFO groove, [see: I’m already saying things like groove]  “Summer Girls” on the radio. You know the one: “I like girls that wear Abercrombie &Fitch…”

It took me back to my suntanned days of watermelon Bubblicious bubblegum and spending weekends at the shopping mall and riding with the windows down. And suddenly: I was there.

I sang out loud, craved a Diet Cherry Coke and wanted to go home and “lay out.”

This moment of age-forgetfulness will no doubt come over me days, weeks, and years down the road until one day, when I’m far over the hill, I’ll be standing in my teenage son’s bedroom and I’ll hear a familiar song.

I’ll sing the words. I’ll dance a little jig. I’ll feel cool and hip and free.

And he’ll look at me with that Oh, Mommmmm look.

And then I’ll realize that it embarrasses him and I’ll dance my jig anyway, because hey, if we have to grow old, we may as well enjoy it.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”  – Satchel Paige




  1. Stephanie

    I just read this while folding laundry and couldn’t help but start dancing to that song! It sure takes me back to college when we thought things were soooo complicated! On another note, our babysitter calls me ma’am. It’s hard to take.

    • Lauren

      Things *were* complicated, Steph. I mean we had to figure out how to work out, lay out, and go shopping before going out at night.

  2. I’m 27 and still have trouble believing I’m an adult. I don’t typically think of myself as “old” but recently had an experience that made me feel ancient. I was talking to a 16 year old and casually mentioned the commercial where a new dad makes a collect call from a payphone to his parents when his son is born. Instead of saying his name, he says, “wehadababyitsaboy” really quickly so his parents don’t have to pay for/accept the collect call.

    She looked at me like I had four heads and confirmed she *thinks* she has *maybe* seen a payphone once. The confused look on her face said it all. To her, I’m old.

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