Since you’ve been gone

My husband and I were trying to remember all of Kelly Clarkson’s “hits” yesterday. We named a couple and then were stumped for a bit. “I know there’s another one,” I said. “I just know it.”

It was a beautiful moment when I suddenly had an epiphany, bursting out in song, “SINCE YOU’VE BEEN GOOOOONNNEE!! I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIIIMMMEEE!”

It may have startled him just a bit.

Anyway, that little anecdote really has nothing to do with this blog post — but I titled it Since You’ve Been Gone since I realized that I haven’t blogged now in, like, 2 weeks.

If you wonder where I’ve been (besides vacationing for Memorial Day weekend, adjusting to life at home with little ones, growing a baby in my belly, etc), I can say that I’ve spent a lot of time next to the potty.

Before you say, “Um, TMI…” and stop reading, this has nothing to do with my bodily functions (thank goodness).

I am, however, in the trenches (the bowels if you will, hyuk, hyuk) of potty training a 3-year-old. And who would’ve thunk that this simple little “training” [more like: bootcamp] would be an all-consuming, mama-stumping, bribery-inducing experience that turns even the most unplanned days into, well, an even more unplanned day. And talk about creativity — ha! My professional writing world has nuthin’ on the creative writing I’ve been doing lately:

“This is Mr. Owl’s potty box. When you go potty, he will ask you, “Hooo… hoooo has gone potty?” And you say, ‘ME!’ And then you get a present!”

“Big, friendly dinosaurs came into your room last night and took ALL your diapers! So all we have is big boy underwear!”

“Hi, I’m a talking toilet [toilet seat acts as mouth]. I want to eat your poo!”

We’re doing well. I haven’t felt overly compelled to download the 3-Day-Potty-Training yet, though I hear it’s wonderful. And I’ve enjoyed the wide-range of advice from more experienced mamas out there who each have their own interesting ways of training their little humans to say bye-bye to diapers.

Though at times, I can’t help but wonder: who’s really training who in this situation?

The 3-year-old: Mama! Can you bring me one more chocolate milk while I sit on the potty [translation: my throne]???

Mama: Of course, honey [translation: your majesty].

2 Comments

  1. Jill

    Ha ha ha. Potty training has been my most challenging parenting skill. I’m currently traing my 8th child, but it has been easier. My 2 year old just decided on her own that she wanted to be done with diapers. Now if I could only get her to stop screaming whenever she has the urge to go . . . Btw. My older daughter potty trained the last two kids while I was on bedrest with pregnancies. So maybe if you get the first one trained you can delegate. Lol

  2. Ashley Walker

    I think every mama has potty training horror stories…welcome to the club! Sorry to hear Mr. Owl’s box isn’t working out =) Let’s hang out again when you are no longer tied to the bathroom!

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