My husband and I were trying to remember all of Kelly Clarkson’s “hits” yesterday. We named a couple and then were stumped for a bit. “I know there’s another one,” I said. “I just know it.”
It was a beautiful moment when I suddenly had an epiphany, bursting out in song, “SINCE YOU’VE BEEN GOOOOONNNEE!! I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIIIMMMEEE!”
It may have startled him just a bit.
Anyway, that little anecdote really has nothing to do with this blog post — but I titled it Since You’ve Been Gone since I realized that I haven’t blogged now in, like, 2 weeks.
If you wonder where I’ve been (besides vacationing for Memorial Day weekend, adjusting to life at home with little ones, growing a baby in my belly, etc), I can say that I’ve spent a lot of time next to the potty.
Before you say, “Um, TMI…” and stop reading, this has nothing to do with my bodily functions (thank goodness).
I am, however, in the trenches (the bowels if you will, hyuk, hyuk) of potty training a 3-year-old. And who would’ve thunk that this simple little “training” [more like: bootcamp] would be an all-consuming, mama-stumping, bribery-inducing experience that turns even the most unplanned days into, well, an even more unplanned day. And talk about creativity — ha! My professional writing world has nuthin’ on the creative writing I’ve been doing lately:
“This is Mr. Owl’s potty box. When you go potty, he will ask you, “Hooo… hoooo has gone potty?” And you say, ‘ME!’ And then you get a present!”
“Big, friendly dinosaurs came into your room last night and took ALL your diapers! So all we have is big boy underwear!”
“Hi, I’m a talking toilet [toilet seat acts as mouth]. I want to eat your poo!”
We’re doing well. I haven’t felt overly compelled to download the 3-Day-Potty-Training yet, though I hear it’s wonderful. And I’ve enjoyed the wide-range of advice from more experienced mamas out there who each have their own interesting ways of training their little humans to say bye-bye to diapers.
Though at times, I can’t help but wonder: who’s really training who in this situation?
The 3-year-old: Mama! Can you bring me one more chocolate milk while I sit on the potty [translation: my throne]???
Mama: Of course, honey [translation: your majesty].